Sometimes I think back on my life and wonder how on earth I got to where I am now. I’ve had dreams and goals, but most of them were for a more immediate future. Not just “what am I going to do with myself tomorrow”, but my dreams usually just applied to the next 5 years, usually less. Of course I had a vague idea of “what” I wanted to be or “where” I wanted to go past that more immediate time frame. Perhaps I didn’t dedicated myself to a future or a dream because I know how unexpected life can be. I try to be flexible. Like Heraclitus said, in so many words, the only constant thing is change. But there are a few things now that I know I want, no matter how I get to it. I want to be a great mom. I want to give my kids great opportunities. I want to be a good wife – a strong companion for my husband. And, I want to be a photographer.
As I say those things, I realize that those are the things that I was saying a year ago, and many of them have happened. Of course they are all things that I need to constantly dedicate myself to and continue to work on in order to stay fresh, active, and current. I hope, a year since I began dreaming those dreams, that they have started to be woven into my being.
There are a few other things that my husband and I had on “our list”. You know, the list you come up with whenever you make a big life altering decision. The “where do we go from here” list. When we were married, our first goal was to find jobs and start getting ourselves into a position to have a family. We got jobs and we bought a house. When we bought the house, we had kids in the back of our minds. The school district that we bought our house in wasn’t great, but it was one of those things that we sort of brushed aside because 1) who knows where we would be in five years and 2) our main goal once we had school age kids was to get back to the town in which I grew up. It is a great place to live with a lot to do and amazing school systems. Of course that also means that the cost of living was out of our range.
Well, it is now five years later and life has certainly thrown us some curve balls. Our house is in the process of being sold, and we are in the process of moving back to the town where I grew up. We are going to be be moving from the house where we brought two little ones into the world to a place that will really ensure they have a bright, big, beautiful future. I have to move my business that I just started to get off the ground. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m a little unsure about what will happen.
So, here I am again. I’m in that spot where I have to start thinking about goals and what I would love to see happen in the next five years. Five years ago, I was newly married. I was childless. I really had a world of options. Now, I try to picture what life will be like 5 years from now. Thaya will be 8, and Aubrie will be 6 1/2. I’ll be 32. As we move further on, we gain more responsibility and we become more dedicated to the path that we’ve started walking. I’m ok with that. I just hope that I continue to believe that the world is full of possibility, and as change occurs, I am able to change and adapt along with it. I hope that I can continue to recognize opportunities, and build my dreams as my life goes on.
As I said, we’re in the process of a move. Things may get tricky over the next month. But I’m still here, and I’m still writing and clicking away one my camera.
Have a beautiful weekend.