This is my fourth Mother’s Day that I’ve had the privilege of being a mom, and throughout that time, I’ve learned more about motherhood than I thought possible.
Being a mom means easily going a year or more without being well rested. Sometimes it means worry and doubt, uncertainty, and occasionally shame. It means putting all that aside, and often putting yourself aside, for your child(ren). It means sacrifice…
But rest assured that the rewards of your sacrifice are amazing. There is nothing like witnessing the growth and development of a child, and nothing compares to the knowledge that you are somehow successfully contributing to their learning and understanding.
Being a mom means curing headaches and heartaches. Sometimes it is hard to remember how many tantrums and meltdowns you worked through, and with that it is nearly impossible to gauge how many you were able to avoid. Somehow having children goes beyond time and space, and all of the little things are actually big things; little boo-boo = big tears, tiny ant = complex fears, short person = tall personality, quick trip to the store = longest shopping trip of your entire life…
But believe me, with all of the headaches and heartaches you will find that your mind will truly be unable to fathom how your heart could possible hold something so dear, and how such a tiny little soul can make you feel so full. And then, when you least expect it, seemingly out of nowhere, they give you a “little” hug, and whisper three “little” words, and you are immediately overwhelmed in a big, big way.
Being a mom means juggling. Juggling schedules, juggling relationships, juggling internal and external conflicts. It means occasionally reflecting on your week and realizing that you can count on one hand how many words you exchanged with your husband. It means re-evaluating how you express love, and how far random acts of kindness and simple words of encouragement can take you. It means that sometimes you go to bed angry, and sometimes you wake up cranky, and sometimes that is all you can do…
But it also means learning to say you are sorry and meaning it, accepting it when it is said to you, and moving on. It means becoming a better person because you are always (always) being watched, listened to, and repeated. It means being honest with yourself so you can be honest with your little shadow.
It means that through the innocence of your child(ren), you can continue to heal, love, and grow.
I’m so very grateful for the past four years. The many ups and downs, and how it has contributed to the constant molding of my being.